Coaches aren’t perfect, they’re human. They have good days and bad, just like everyone else; and some are better than others.
But in talking with parents and administrators, the biggest thing coaches can do to win parents over is communicate. It can be with the parent, it should be with the student, but all say communication is the key.
It’s not going to cure every problem, but it’s going to keep many small problems from blowing up.
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“Communication with the head coach is the most important thing,” said Hoover girls basketball coach Krystle Johnson, who returned to her alma mater this season after a stint at Huntsville High. “Kids need to know why you’re doing things. All they hear is what you’re saying and they don’t know why – and many coaches don’t explain. I made a vow to be upfront and honest. I tell them I’ll answer any question, but be prepared to hear the truth. It might not be what you want to hear.”
During his football coaching days, AHSAA Executive Director Steve Savarese once benched his own son without telling his wife Beth why, drawing her ire. But it wasn’t the first time he benched a player without spreading the message.
“It was the first round of the playoffs and this child sat because he talked back to a teacher. He was the only player who didn’t play,” said Savarese. “At the conclusion of the game, the parent met me and wanted to know why. Once I explained, the parent understood. But being a young coach without children at the time, I didn’t realize the love a parent has for their child. What it taught me was to pick up the phone and explain why.”
Many coaches cringe when a parent approaches; but the communication doesn’t have to be with the parent. It can, and in many cases, should be with the athlete even though it doesn’t guarantee the word will trickle down. Most coaches won’t discuss playing time with parents, but they will with the player.
“We have a child who excels in one sport and plays another. And she sat for several games in the second sport,” said Florence parent Myranda Barrett. “She had to be the one to stick up for herself. When she had her fill (of not playing), she finally went to the coach; but until she did, she was sitting the bench. The coach said an assistant handled substitutions, and he wasn’t aware of it. But she had to learn how to stick up for herself.”
Keeping the parents in the loop also can help give parents a sense of ownership in the program. Coaches set the boundaries with X’s and O’s, and playing time, but everything else can be fair game.
“There are boundaries, but you want them to feel like they belong,” said Parker baseball coach Tyrus Moss. “We rotate the parents with concessions, watching the gate, parking lot and working at other games in other sports. It keeps them involved and part of the program.”
Some parents thrive off that; others are willing to sit around and have others do the work.
“I feel as a parent, we should be helping out with fundraising, concessions, field maintenance and all that,” said Sheffield softball parent Carrie Nash. “Coaches are trying to help us raise our children and make them better people. We should give back to the program.”
But getting involved goes two ways, just like communication. Wanda Brown, whose son Justin just graduated from Parker and is headed to Middle Tennessee State to play football, felt coaches should have been more involved in helping her son and others get ready for the next level – not on the field but in the classroom.
“That has to start when they are in ninth grade,” said Brown. “You have all these kids who love to play sports and would love to play at the next level, but they don’t understand what it takes academically. They have the talent, but they find out too late about the grades. Parents have to be proactive too and stay on their children about them.”
Brown set about digging into what the NCAA expected with scores and core, not overall, grade point average and shared with other parents – and even spoke to the football team about it. She still gets calls from parents with academic concerns and questions, but she’d like to see more of that go through the school.
“It was a struggle with communication (on academics), but in their defense, there’s a lack of staff and funding and so many people wearing so many hats, “ said Brown. “Like I told the coaches and principal, if you get them when they walk in the door, you’ll see more come out of Parker able to play at the next level.”
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